I am so excited to Wake Up! with John Legend

By a show of hands, who is familiar with John Legend? He is one of my favorites. I just bought his newest album, Wake Up!  The title song is going to be my theme song for the month of October. It's a remake of the original song by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. I love it. The original came out in 1975, the year I was born. Just so happens, my birthday is this month too.

This is an exciting time for me. I feel like I have awakened from a long sleep. I'm excited to participate in my life and in the lives of the people I love. My heart and mind are on the same page now. It's a wonderful feeling to let go of guilt and frustration and to stop "keeping up appearances".

You should try it.

Caught up - III

Want to know what fucking sucks?

I had the entire third part of my post ready to publish. All I had to do was move one line to the end of the post, and it was done. Guess what I did? 

I DELETED THE WHOLE DAMNED THING!!!!!

Fuck it. Here's the summary:

• Mel was confused because I kept everything inside because I took the church too seriously and felt super guilty that I had let him down and therefore was a terrible and unworthy mother and wife.
• He was relieved when I finally broke down the truth to him.
• What started out as 'rebellion', has turned into an incredible spiritual and intellectual journey for me.
• Once you learn something, you can't unlearn it. And once it's substantiated with reliable sources and facts, you can't pretend it's not true. 
• It wasn't rebellion. 
• I'm not the only one in the world who is going through this. 
• Shit! I'm not special. 
• I might not be special, but I do have a good ass. 

Can't fall to sleep

I'm having a hell of a time getting to sleep these days. I guess I just need to lay down. In a dark room. With the TV off. That might help. 

You know something I figured out the other day after I got off the phone with Brandi? It's much easier to be an asshole to her on the computer. She's so nice on the phone. I feel bad being snarky to her over the phone. I guess it's best for our relationship if she's my texty-buddy. That way we can cuss each other out and  no one ends up feeling guilty.

I don't do well with guilt. And by that, I mean that I don't really feel guilty. Ever. And if I do feel guilty for some reason, I usually get over it pretty quick. I'm awesome like that. 

It's time to get off this stupid computer. I have to be well-rested for tomorrow. I am going to my first Bikram Yoga class in the morning. I'm so excited!!

Don't bug me about pictures. I'm trying to decide which pictures I want to post. The ones of the beautiful scenery? Or the ones of me looking so hot I get turned on when I look at them? Decisions, decisions, decisions.