I Need Love

Have you ever been looking forward to an event for a long time and you build it up in your mind until it becomes so great and fantastic and unbelievably wonderful and amazing, only to discover that it's not really all 'dat? 

Me neither

I am having the time of my life with all of my kids in school. It's like a party from 8:30 until 2:30(4:00)(4:30) every day around here. 

not

I'm bored as fuck. I have nothing to do. Well, that's not totally correct. I can clean my house, but I'm not into 12-step programs. I thought I would do yoga every day, but I can't make myself get to class. I'm too lazy to workout on my own. I'm not even wasting hours of my life away on Facebook anymore because I don't understand it.

i need a friend

I need someone who will drag me out of this funk I'm in. I've done it for you mofos. It's your turn. If you don't I'll just continue not eating and get skinnier and skinnier and skinnier. Remember? I lose my appetite when I'm depressed. I eat when I'm happy. Here's your chance to fatten me up. 

Why didn't I do this with the dog?

Several weeks ago, Mimi asked me about getting another pet. A gerbil. Or two. After I smacked her laughed, I told her no. Whine, whine, beg, beg, plead, plead, plead. Still no. Then genius hit me. I suggested that she ask one of her friends who owns a gerbil if they are going on vacation this summer and need a pet sitter. 

Last night, Mimi's friend dropped her gerbils off at our house for the next ten days. As I was clearing a space for them, I started thinking about how fucking genius I am. I mean, it's like we are borrowing her friend's pet. You can't just ask someone if you can borrow their pet so you can play with it for a week. People don't really  DO that. But that's exactly what we are doing. 

Then I realized what a fucking idiot I am for not thinking about this sooner. Like when we got our cat. Or our dog. Fuck! When we got our kids, for that matter. Why the hell didn't we borrow someone else's dog/cat/kids before we committed to taking them? Now that we have them, there's no going back. (not that we would if we could) (yeah, right) (not really) (ok, well, sometimes maybe)

But DAMN it's nice having a pet that the kids love and play with and take care for a week, and just when they start to lose interest we can give it back. Kind of the way grandparents must feel. Shit, I can't wait until I'm a grandparent. 

Rated R

Contrary to popular belief, an 'R' rating doesn't mean something is inappropriate, bad, or unsuitable. 

Though, I guess it depends who you ask.

He's too dang sensible

I shouldn't be annoyed by this fact about my husband. But I am. I just want him to see things the way I see them, and feel the way I feel about them. He's too level-headed. Too objective. Too fair. He thinks things through. He weighs his options. He makes well-thought-out decisions.

I'm not trying to make any decisions. I'm still processing, learning, and figuring out. He makes me think critically. That makes my brain hurt. It's much easier to be emotional and impulsive. Not better. Easier.

It's a good thing for me that he is how he is. I'm thankful for that. He's probably reading this and smiling and shaking his head.

I love him.