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Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Good Mother

 (By Guest Blogger Brenda)

So, it's been four years since I was here last, and damn, it's dusty and cobwebby in here! Marianne has really let this place go.

I suppose she has been pretty busy lately.  Did you hear?  She has a girlfriend now. (I know. Scandalous, right? Who saw that coming?) And she's living on her own, going to school, working, sharing custody of the kids, and managing to do it all really well. 

So I'm just going to sweep up a little, open some windows, and let in some fresh air.  And while I'm at it, I'm going to tell you why I think Marianne is one of the best moms I know. It's Mother's Day, after all. And this will save me from getting her a card.

1. She genuinely likes her kids. That's sort of a major requirement for being a good mom.  There are some species who'll eat their young without a second thought.  But not Marianne. I'm pretty sure she'd never eat her kids.  She talks about their interests and talents and the things she loves about their individual personalities all the time. 

2. She nursed them until they were seven all because she knew that was the best choice for them.  O.K., maybe not seven.  But way longer than I'd feel comfortable doing it.  My philosophy is that if they can ask for the boob with a complete sentence, it's time to move on to a sippy cup.  But what do I know?  The love in her voice when she talks about the closeness she felt with each of them while nursing makes me kind of regret hiring that wet nurse for my own.  I mean, the way she describes it, it would totally be worth the loss of my perky breasts. Lord knows she sacrificed hers.

3. She teaches them personal responsibility and respect for others. They are some of the most polite children I know.  I am 97% sure none of her kids will ever be on an episode of Cops.

4. She's a fun mom. She lets them get creative and make messes.  She plays with them. She laughs with them.  Me?  I'm all, "Paddox and Brahara, I'm sorry.  Mommy is too tired to tell the nanny to play with you.  Go find a way to entertain yourselves.  And don't make a mess, because I'm also too tired to tell the maid to clean up after you.  But not Marianne.  She's all, "Let's go to the park!  Sure, you can make brownies! Let's go get ice cream! Why don't you have a sleep over here with your friends?!"  You know, generally making the rest of us look bad.

5.  She puts the needs and welfare of her children ahead of her own.  Do you know how many drunk videos she hasn't posted because she doesn't want her kids to see it someday?  A lot.  Do you know how many times she didn't run away to a tropical island somewhere because she knows her kids need her?  Also a lot.  This is a woman who usually waits until her kids are bed before breaking out the wine. That's love and selflessness right there.

There you have it.  Best mom ever.  The rest of us can only aspire to be that good.  Now if you'll excuse me, I need to tell the nanny to thank the kids for my Mother's Day gift.  Parenting is so hard sometimes.

Friday, January 27, 2012

He's so cute

Imagine me patting my husband on the head and pinching his bum.

He's so cute when he discovers that there is major malware on our computer and doesn't do anything for two straight nights but try to discover and eradicate it. He's sitting at the computer with the biggest boner because he has the opportunity to use his skills. 

Meanwhile, I am sitting here drinking wine, watching some good 'ol left-wing comedic political commentary-a-la Bill Maher and knitting. I don't agree with half of what he says, but damn! He does a good job saying it. Especially about the religious right. Those fuckers are crazy. Even when I was religious, I thought they were too much. 

But I digress....

This post was about my cute husband and his obsession with our computer. How did I turn it into my opinion of crazy, right-wing religious fanatics? Meh, doesn't really matter. It's my blog, right?

Sunday, January 1, 2012


  1. Vivian finally went to kindergarten. At first glance, it's seen as a relief. Upon further inspection, I have discovered that my life is a little bit boring without that kid around. The fun part has been figuring out who I am without a kid stuck to my side. And by fun, I mean not fun. 
  2. Patricia got her learner's permit, and I got more gray hairs. Seriously. I'm not even joking. This is not an exaggeration. I have more gray hairs. Everywhere. Even in places that I never thought would get gray hairs. Yeah. THERE. Although, I am pretty sure those ones have nothing to do with my 16 year old daughter. 
  3. Trystan is taller than me. He weighs more than me too. And he has a manly voice. Where did my sweet little boy go?
  4. Mimi's isn't much of a milestone, rather a brag. That girl is the most empathetic person I know. She is the kid who plays with the unpopular kids who have no one to play with at recess. She is the one who takes time to help the kid who can't read well to find a book in the school library that he is interested in. I see this every time I go to her school. Her teachers tell me whenever they get a chance. Most importantly, Mimi lets me know. At least once a week. Hey- It's a good thing to know what you're good at. 
  5. Mel retired after 20 years in the Army. And now for the brag: In November, he had a retirement ceremony where I got to hear about all of the amazing things he has done over the past six years in his job. That was cool. I learned some things I didn't know before. What the best part for me was standing in the receiving line  and getting to talk to all of the people who he had touched, both professionally and personally. I have always known how great he is. To learn that I'm not the only person to feel that way about him was priceless. I'm looking forward to the next chapter in our lives. 
  6. Isn't it ironic that I saved myself for last? I got my first REAL brazilian wax. Remember this? Or part deux? Or part the third? It took just over two years for me to muster the courage to get it professionally done. It took 45 minutes. It hurt. My pussy was out of commission for two days. I'm going back on Wednesday for maintenance. (god help me)
Did you have any milestones in your life? If so, I hope it wasn't as painful as mine. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Pretty Excellent

  • When I get random funny text messages from Brandi.
  • When Ariella comes over for a knitting date and brings food.
  • When Patricia wants to drive and Mel doesn't want to take her so she asks me to ask him to get stuff from the grocery store so she can drive because she knows he'll go if it's helpful to me. 
  • When a new recipe tastes even better than I imagined.
  • When an old standby recipe that has never actually been written down still tastes good.
  • When I get to connect with someone about something completely different from what initially connected us because of what she discovered about me on my blog. 
  • When my closet is cold enough to refrigerate my beers. (NOT awesome when I'm trying to get dressed)
  • When I wear my warm, soft hat all afternoon and into the evening. It's sooooooo warm.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Unexpected Surprise

I went to the thrifty store the other day and bought an adorable jacket. I washed it, of course. And dried it, of course. The bonus came when I took it out of the dryer and found a $20 bill. Basically, I earned $15 by buying the jacket. Totally worth it.