What I learned:
1. You can't be afraid of pain. Waxing in general is painful. If you can't wax your own mustache, don't. even. try. it!
2. Even if you are tough like me, you'll want to stop after a couple of rips.
3. Don't attempt to do this all on one day. I did it in phases. First phase was just the bikini line. Second was the top of the pubic bone and the perenieal area. Third was the rest.
4. You need at least three hands to do phase three. That's why I'm not completely clean. I couldn't hold the skin tight enough. (maybe having four vagi-births has something to do with this). Did I just share that?
5. It's very messy. The wax is sticky and you can't wash it off with water. You must use oil to dissolve it. At least the oil moisturizes your skin.
6. I won't do it myself again because it took a lot of time, was messy, and unfinished.
7. I will, however, go to a professional to get it done. If I can do 85% of it on myself, I could certainly have a professional (compete stranger) do the whole job.