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Wednesday, July 28, 2010


(actual conversation)

Random Trainer: I gotta make sure I get paid for these people I trained. I know it's not a lot of money, but this is my drinking money.
Tall Black Man: I thought you didn't drink.
RT: I do drink, but not nearly as much as I'd like to.
TBM: HA! As much as you'd like to? I don't think I've ever heard that one.
RT: Just make sure I get paid ok? Each person is worth one drink.

Friday, July 16, 2010

tight ass...

...and shoulders, and back, and hamstrings, and...

That's what happens when you don't work out for a while.
"But you are a personal trainer. You work at a gym," you say.
"I'm LAAAAAZY!" I whine, "I don't always WAAAAAANT to workout. It HUUUUURTS."
"So what kind of example are you setting?" you ask.
"A bad one, " I reply, "I don't care. So get off my case. I'm not the workout police."
"Jeeez, quit being such a bitch," you say.
"Don't call me a bitch. I'll punch you in the throat if you call me a bitch," I respond.
"I didn't say you were a bitch, I said you were being one. There's a difference," you explain.
"No there's not," I argue.
"Yes there is," you reply.
"Is not," I insist.
"Is too," you insist.
"Is-" PUNCH!! "GASP!!!", I gasp.
" Is too, BITCH!" you say.
Fine, I'll stop whining now. I have to go workout.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The fascinating belly button

Vivian sat here for ten minutes trying to get to the inside of her belly button. She tugged and pulled and dug around, but to no avail. Good thing. That could have been messy.

It made me think of my own belly button. I hate mine. I have always been unhappy with my BB. It used to be hairy (GAH-ROOSSS), until I started waxing it. Now, after four kids, it's all stretched out and misshapen. It's saggy. It's sad. The BB along with all the stretch marks from the first kid, make for a less-than-desirable midsection. I was going to post a picture to prove it, but it looks much worse in picture form than in person. I'm too vain.

At least my ass is tight.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Don't be alarmed!

It's just me checking back on my blog. I've changed it again. I'm going to be better at updating it. I promise. I have made changes to encourage me to visit my blog more instead of Brandi's. I think that if I look at my month old post long enough, I'll want to update more often. Whatever it takes, right?

some funny things happening right now:
  • Trystan playing with the dog (boxer) and getting punched in the face. BY A BOXER!!
  • The dog running in circles chasing his tail. He's a boxer. He has no tail. It's like me trying to wear pigtails. Have you seen my hair lately?
  • Mimi's pancake fail. I guess you have to learn how to make pancakes somehow, right?
My plans for the week:
  • Go to Costco for greek yogurt. I MUST HAVE MY GREEK YOGURT!!!!
  • Tune up my bike and ride at least 45 miles (not necessarily consecutive).
  • Take kids to park for picnic and playgrounding. Yes, you are invited. Llamame.
  • Try not to watch the season 5 finale of Weeds yet.
WOOO-frickin'-HOOOO, right?

My week is gonna be a blast!