things you should know

• i have callouses on my thumbs because i have played waaaay too many hours of my new game.
• savasana works. really. it worked so well for me last night that startled myself out of sleep because i was snoring.
• you are an official member of the yoga geek club if you didn't have to click the link to find out what savasana means. (tell me who you are, and i'll send your card in the mail)
• if i don't stop eating and gaining weight, i'm going to have to buy new clothes. who's up for a thrift store run?
• if it's still snowy at my house on tuesday, you people are invited over for a potluck/sledding/playdate at noon. bring a sled and some food to share. if you need the address, call me.

That's all.

FINALLY!!!!

It's taking every fiber of my being to not wake Trystan up so we can play this game right now. (it's almost 11pm) Because believe me, he'd wake up. And we'd play it all night. Until we had blisters on our fingers.

But I won't. I'm going to go to bed now so I can dream of Mario and Luigi and the adventures that await us ALL DAY LONG tomorrow.

Like, DU-UH?!

Who would have thought that eating regularly and exercising regularly would make such a difference?

Me. That's who. I mean, I AM a fitness professional and all. But just because I know something, doesn't mean that I'll do it. Until now.

For the past 7 months, I've been stressed, unhappy, and slowly wasting away. You see, when I get stressed, I don't eat. Then, I get depressed because I'm not fueling my body, then I don't want to eat, then I lose weight because I'm not eating, then I feel bad about myself because I'm too skinny, then I get depressed, then I don't eat because I'm depressed, then I stress out, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Do you see the cycle? That's why I went on zoloft. Well, the zoloft was for PMS, but the PMS just made everything 1,000 times worse.

Then, one morning in the beginning of November, I had the following conversation with my dear husband:
Him: Babe, I was looking at you earlier, and you are starting to look scary skinny.
Me: What? Really?
Him: (very seriously) Yes. You look pretty bad actually.
Me: Wow. Ok.

So that was my call to action. You guys know my husband. He's a great guy. He has never said anything negative to me about my weight. Whether I was soft and squishy after having a baby (let's call that the 20's), or fit and trim like I am now. So for him to say that I looked scary was my reason to take things seriously. I went out that day and bought a little black spiral notebook. You all may have seen it sitting on the counter during BGW. I wrote down everything. What I ate, what I drank, what type of activity I did. I'd weigh in each week to track my progress.

Honestly, it was just as hard to gain weight as it was to lose weight. I've been on both sides of that coin. I'd gain a pound, lose two. Gain three pounds, lose one. Lose two pounds. Gain one. This went on till I finally gained 5 pounds from the original and kept it on. I hit a plateau. I couldn't gain more. (really? is she serious?) So then, I stopped exercising. Like, really. I went from 6 or 7 days per week to 1 or 2. That's what did it. Well, that and BGW.

I have gained the 10 pounds I needed to gain. So now, I am eating all the time, and that's a good thing because I am training for a triathlon. I am going to be working out 6 or 7 days per week again. My pants are fitting me again. My bras aren't loose. Even in a sports bra, I'm not totally flat chested.

The best part?!!? I really feel like ME again. I am creative again. I'm cooking - no - creating great recipes. (I'll share them eventually) I'm being crafty again. Ariella and I are knitting. I'm still doing jewelry. I am being more creative at work with clients and with my own personal workouts. I even am enjoying my kids. I'm not always searching for ways to escape my house. It's great. AND!! I'm not taking zoloft anymore.

That's it. Now comment on my blog and tell me how great I am and how happy you are for me.

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Karma. It's real. I'm living it. It's the 20-year curse rearing its ugly head again.

• 20 years ago, I was 14.
• 20 years ago, nothing my family did was acceptable.
• 20 years ago, I didn't want anything to do with my siblings.
• 20 years ago, my mother was the meanest, most selfish bitch in the universe.
• 20 years ago, I had such a bad attitude about anything that was outside my sphere of existence, that all I could do without spewing nastiness was sleep.
• 20 years ago, I knew everything.
• 20 years ago, I was the sh**!
• 20 years ago, while I was being yelled at/arguing with my terrible bitch of a mother, I vowed that I would NEVER say/do/think/act that way.

The only saving grace is that in 20 years, I'll be able to enjoy when karma rears it's ugly head again. On Her.

Growing up and letting go...

SUCKS! It sucks BIG HAIRY ONES!

Where do you draw the line? How much freedom is too much? How do you let your kid have experiences and develop her sense of self, and demonstrate that you have taught/are teaching her well? How do these things happen without causing wrinkles/ acne/ gray hairs? How do you shelter your kid enough so she can still be safe without causing long-term damage?

I don't want feedback from you unless you have or have ever had a teenager. I'll even accept your opinion if you still are a teenager, or just past teenager-hood. Or if you can remember a specific example of how your parents handled this situation when you were a teenager.

But if you have little kids, and you are giving me your 'I think this is how I would handle it' opinion, I don't want to hear it. Seriously. I need actual, proven advice here.

"Pick number three, m'lord!"

What movie is that from? Ten million points to the one who guesses right.

I know yesterday's post was crappy, but you have to remember that I'm so out of the habit right now. I am doing well to just be sitting down at my computer. Be patient. I'll get into the swing of things soon. I'm almost making this blogging thing a habit again. Soon, I'll be posting pictures and writing witty commentary about the world around me. I just might become the next Brandi. (heaven help us)

two in a row

I don't know if there's really anything to say, but I'm just happy to post something two days in a row.

Doesn't my blog look pretty?

I have to get ready for work now. Aren't you glad that you wasted these three minutes of your life? You'll never get them back.

Brat!

Pet Peeve about BGW women

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah..... I had a great time and all of that junk at the BGW-2010. Here's my peeve with all of you girls. Well, not all. Just the ones that have asked me for recipes.

The recipes were on the kitchen island all weekend. IN PLAIN SIGHT. I didn't make any attempt to hide them or even discourage anyone from seeing them. If you wanted the recipes, you could have taken a look and copied down the recipe for yourself. You could have been proactive about it and gone home with the recipe in hand. Ashley did. So why didn't the rest of you?

I hate to email recipes. It takes time. Time I don't really want to spend copying a recipe. I don't usually use my desktop, so to write a recipe on my iPod is excruciating. I won't do it. I am not going to email any recipes. I'm just not going to do it. If you live near me, you may come over and I'll photocopy the recipe for you. If you have my phone number, you can call me and I'll tell it to you over the phone.

You girls know me. You know I love all of you. I'm just a brat.

Ashley, I will buy a cookbook from you when you publish it. Just remember, I am a contributor. I won't pay full price.