SUCKS! It sucks BIG HAIRY ONES!
Where do you draw the line? How much freedom is too much? How do you let your kid have experiences and develop her sense of self, and demonstrate that you have taught/are teaching her well? How do these things happen without causing wrinkles/ acne/ gray hairs? How do you shelter your kid enough so she can still be safe without causing long-term damage?
I don't want feedback from you unless you have or have ever had a teenager. I'll even accept your opinion if you still are a teenager, or just past teenager-hood. Or if you can remember a specific example of how your parents handled this situation when you were a teenager.
But if you have little kids, and you are giving me your 'I think this is how I would handle it' opinion, I don't want to hear it. Seriously. I need actual, proven advice here.
5 comments:
I have a teenager, so i hope that qualifies me! Although, as evil as i sometimes think my daughter is, i don't know if i can offer much help since i feel the same way. I feel like i have screwed anissa's life up by giving her the guidelines that my parents never gave me. Who was really better off? I really don't know.
What i do know, when Anissa is with friends, and i'm not talking just regular gossiping, hanging out sessions-because we all do that, i mean when it comes to making a deep down hard decision (smoking, drinking, and even cussing) she chooses not to.
I can't trust anissa with the little things, yet when it comes to the big decisions, she really makes me proud.
I think there is a difference between sheltering and not letting them KNOW what goes on in the world. I teach anissa not to have sex till she is married, but by golly, she knows about birth control and teen pregnancy and immature boys. I teach her not to get on drugs, but i've let her watch someone go thru severe withdrawl to make a point.
So, i don't think that helps, but this is something i find that i ask myself a lot of. Especially since i feel as if i've broken my daughter.
Thanks Emily.
my parents where pretty laid back with me and gave me quite a bit of freedom, but i also was an extremely good kid. i never did anything bad. i often wonder how i'm going to deal with my kids because they are not extremely good kids. i too want to give them the space they need to grow but i'm so desperately afraid they will come home doing drugs while pregnant.
you are an awesome mom marianne. you have had many a experience to be able to be there for your kids. good luck. i won't give you any advice. like you said, i have small kids and i have NO IDEA what i would do in your situation....
i'm good at listening though :)
Thanks G.
No advice. I agree with G, you're an awesome mom. They know you love them. It shows in almost everything you do. almost...Just make sure you buy groceries on time dang it and not be an irresponsible yoga junky.
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