Who would have thought that eating regularly and exercising regularly would make such a difference?
Me. That's who. I mean, I AM a fitness professional and all. But just because I know something, doesn't mean that I'll do it. Until now.
For the past 7 months, I've been stressed, unhappy, and slowly wasting away. You see, when I get stressed, I don't eat. Then, I get depressed because I'm not fueling my body, then I don't want to eat, then I lose weight because I'm not eating, then I feel bad about myself because I'm too skinny, then I get depressed, then I don't eat because I'm depressed, then I stress out, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Do you see the cycle? That's why I went on zoloft. Well, the zoloft was for PMS, but the PMS just made everything 1,000 times worse.
Then, one morning in the beginning of November, I had the following conversation with my dear husband:
Him: Babe, I was looking at you earlier, and you are starting to look scary skinny.
Me: What? Really?
Him: (very seriously) Yes. You look pretty bad actually.
Me: Wow. Ok.
So that was my call to action. You guys know my husband. He's a great guy. He has never said anything negative to me about my weight. Whether I was soft and squishy after having a baby (let's call that the 20's), or fit and trim like I am now. So for him to say that I looked scary was my reason to take things seriously. I went out that day and bought a little black spiral notebook. You all may have seen it sitting on the counter during BGW. I wrote down everything. What I ate, what I drank, what type of activity I did. I'd weigh in each week to track my progress.
Honestly, it was just as hard to gain weight as it was to lose weight. I've been on both sides of that coin. I'd gain a pound, lose two. Gain three pounds, lose one. Lose two pounds. Gain one. This went on till I finally gained 5 pounds from the original and kept it on. I hit a plateau. I couldn't gain more. (really? is she serious?) So then, I stopped exercising. Like, really. I went from 6 or 7 days per week to 1 or 2. That's what did it. Well, that and BGW.
I have gained the 10 pounds I needed to gain. So now, I am eating all the time, and that's a good thing because I am training for a triathlon. I am going to be working out 6 or 7 days per week again. My pants are fitting me again. My bras aren't loose. Even in a sports bra, I'm not totally flat chested.
The best part?!!? I really feel like ME again. I am creative again. I'm cooking - no - creating great recipes. (I'll share them eventually) I'm being crafty again. Ariella and I are knitting. I'm still doing jewelry. I am being more creative at work with clients and with my own personal workouts. I even am enjoying my kids. I'm not always searching for ways to escape my house. It's great. AND!! I'm not taking zoloft anymore.
That's it. Now comment on my blog and tell me how great I am and how happy you are for me.
11 comments:
Marianne, you are soooo way cool and awesome!!! My bestest friend ever! :) Is that good? No really, I've seen a huge change. The weight looks good on you, even though you're still a freakin' zero. I like that you're happier and craftier and I especially love that your creative cooking is finding it's way into my tummy. :)
And you're blogging again, too. It's a miracle!
I really am happy for you! And I want to knit with you! But not run a triathlon...
You also have a lot of self control, to be able to take what Mel said and actually change yourself. I am very self critical and tend to like being super skinny. Can't you tell? HA! I don't know if I would be able to honestly consider that info and try and change myself. I am also glad that you are creating in the kitchen again!
You're great and I'm so happy for you! (How's that?)
For real, though, I am.
I have to write down everything I eat or I'll gain back all that I've lost. The few times I slacked off and not kept track, I ate probably triple what I normally would have. I track mine on the Daily plate at Livestrong.com. I have to track carbs and protein, and that counts it for me.
Anyway, I'm a little jealous. I work out 6 days a week, and for the past 2 months I've doubled my workouts, and I'm still completely stalled out with at least 10 pounds more to lose.
Oh, and I really wish I could come knit with you guys.
Kylene,
Don't get me wrong. I like being skinny. I just don't like my ribs poking out and my clothes not fitting. Even the skinny jeans. Size 0 should not be the 'fat pants'. Spandex shouldn't be baggy. You know? I do like having a shape.
Both ends of the spectrum can be scary! I AM so proud of you. And when it comes to cooking, I am sure your family appreciates you wanting to eat! I wish I were there to work out with you. You would kick. my. butt!
I'm happy for you Marianne. I can relate- I react to stress the same way. So let me shout out "WAY TO GO MARIANNE!" :-)
You are awesome! I even totally love the fact that your "fat" pants are a size 0!!! I wish all you knitters were here or that I was up there so we have a knitting night. I guess I have to find someone to do it with down here. So, my question is, are you going to share your super yummy recipes with the rest of us???? XOXO
That's awesome!!! Good for you!!!
Glad to hear that you are doing better :)
You give me positive hope! It's good to know that I'm not the only one that struggles with being underweight and so GREAT to know that you've been able to make positive changes! So happy for you and proud of you! ~Lori
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