Because I find it hard to believe that this 'friend' of mine is the only one who has thought this. I'm not asking you to 'out' yourself as an unbeliever. What I want to know is how you have dealt with your doubts.
How have you handled/ how would you handle a similar situation if it was your spouse who was experiencing the same difficulties that my 'friend' is experiencing?
Is there anything wrong with having doubts and thinking critically? I don't mean criticizing and being mean. I mean asking questions and looking for answers?
Why don't we talk about this more?
Why can't we use what we have in common to discuss these things?
Don't you think that it could help reconcile our brains and our hearts?
16 comments:
The way you keep putting friend in quotation marks is giving me a complex. :)
But, yeah, people. I KNOW I'm not the only one of you reading this who has had doubts at one time or another. Feedback--good or bad--would be appreciated.
And look! You can comment anonymously!
Oh yeah, and I don't know how to find out who is posting things or even viewing my page. So your anonymous comments are really anonymous.
I may have had some doubts earlier in the year because of my non-member friends their lives looked fun and it was hard to use my one day a week to get up early again so I could go to church. Funnily enough it wasn't whether or not I believed it it was whether or not I believed enough to keep trying.
I can see the problems other people would have with the church and when it comes down to it its simple faith reason can't truly explain it. My experience ended with a strong desire to serve a mission because I realized I can't live without the gospel in my life without my belief and constant support of my heavenly father and want other people to be able to experience that joy.
it saddens me when people lose faith but its not something that can be forced it something that has to be found and honestly I believe if it can't be found its better to own up to that fact since it will just weigh you down if you don't. Also I always love the person just the same its a personal choice and if they don't believe it they don't nothing I can do can change that.
All we can do as members is show love and support and show that we still love them for just who they are even if they don't want to be at church anymore.
sorry if that was too long or too preachy I didn't mean for it to be I'm a bit sleep deprived at the moment and wanted to get big ideas out in a small space.
also I say this with respect and love for you I think your honesty is amazing.
I think everyone has had doubts at certain points in their lives and I am no exception. There are several things in the church that I question and wonder often about, but there are also way too many things that I KNOW to be true and those are the things that keep me going. For example, I have a gay brother and have struggled with the church's stance on same-sex attraction. While I don't agree with his lifestyle, I feel like there isn't a comfortable place for gays in the church. The church makes it sound like it is accepting of everyone no matter what but that is not always the case. I also have issue with the whole polygamy thing. I mean who is completely okay with that? But I also know that we are not meant to understand everything in its fullness right now. That is where faith comes in. There are too many things in this church that I know to be true and cannot walk away from because of my few doubts. One thing I DO have a testimony of is Joseph Smith. I can't turn my back on that knowledge and testimony which does make everything else easier to believe in. I have always admired converts who are able to accept the Joseph Smith story as adults because it does seem so far-fetched. But the Holy Ghost has testified to me the truthfulness of that man and though I know there are many unsavory things written about Joseph Smith, I still believe that he was a prophet of God. He was not a perfect man. I really liked Lydia's comments in the previous posts where she said to focus on what you DO know to be true. That is so important. I know that I feel good when I keep the commandments and do what we are asked to do. This church hasn't led me astray or made me unhappy in any way. Sometimes it is so overwhelming to do all that we are expected of. Sometimes doubts creep in. Sometimes life just plain sucks, but that can be the case whether you are in the church or not. Active church members aren't exempt from any of these feelings but life must go on and we deal with our trials as they come and endure to the end. I hope none of this sounds preachy or judgy. I am a terrible writer and sometimes have a hard time making my point. I do think it is good to be able to talk about these things because so many of us struggle silently.
I think I know who the 'friend' is, and I was once in the same ward with both of you.
I have the same secret, and it's tearing me apart. I can't tell my husband because I think he'll leave me.
I love the people in the church, but I hate most of the teachings.
I fear for my daughters if I stay. I don't want them to grow up feeling like they're less important than their brother because they're female.
Just look at the difference in YW/YM activities. Take a good, long, honest look and then tell me the church doesn't value males more.
If we were in the same ward, you know that I served in YW for three years. Two of those as president. I never got that feeling. Our bishop at the time let us do whatever we wanted. We didn't do some of the 'cooler' things the guys did because none of the leaders wanted to do any of those things. The thing I remember most doing with my girls was cooking. That was what I was interested in. They liked it. (you liked it, right Anne?) Maybe because we had a wonderful bishop. I don't know. I just know that I never felt that way in my experience. When we went to the aquarium one time for our activity, he asked how this applied to the church. I answered, "God made fish." The end.
we Loved the cooking and in our ward we were always made to feel more valued then the boys always being told we were the ones that didnt need extra help that no matter how hard they tried boys would never be able to be as caring or as kind as girls naturally are
that trip to the aquarium was also awesome
I've totally had those times. I still feel like in many ways I'm always learning (or re-learning). I've had all kinds of debates with family members- and it comes down to people are going to believe what they are going to believe. And somethings do still rub me wrong [about the Church]. Like for instance some of the stalker-ish mind-sets of getting people active again. Instead of someone being just a friend, you have some church member being a "friend" to get you active again. Sorry, but that doesn't sound/ look too good. It looks stalker-ish and cult-ish. I can understand why people get upset about being just looked at from only that prospect because it would annoy the heck out of me.
Hi Sarah. I'm glad to hear your opinion (on my "friend's" behalf)
How's everything going? Aren't you having a baby sometime soon?
Hi Marianne! Things are going well. I am humongous and can't wait to get this baby out. My due date is Sunday. Life is crazy but we are all happy and healthy. One of these days I will update my blog but I have zero energy right now. Still missing Ft. Meade. :)
It's been interesting to read what you're going through and I wanted to comment before. I'm one of those "facebook" friends. I do wish we could've been at Ft. Meade longer. I feel sort of jipped (sp?) in that I got to meet so many of you but just for a short time. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't have doubts anymore, but questions. Lots and lots of questions. I have faith in Christ and that is the most important thing. Everything else is secondary. And that's all I wanted to say. Thanks.
Awwww Dasha, you're more than a facebook friend. Comment away!!
How has doubt turned into questions?
I agree with Sarah, everyone has doubts and has to find their own strength. The reason I don't doubt anymore even when I was tired of it all and kind of wanted to, is because I've had too many experiences that tell me otherwise. I remember those and the way I felt and can't deny that. I have questions that lead to more questions but I always go back to my simple faith in Christ and remembering that He is in charge. And the things that I get hung up on, if they're not relevant to my own personal salvation then they really can't be that important.
Sarah,
I'm curious how you felt about Elder Packer's talk in conference today. Do you believe your brother is gay by choice and could be straight if he would just choose to be straight, and be more faithful?
I hope this doesn't seem inflammatory. I truly am curious to hear reactions to his talk by people who have gay loved ones. I hurt for your brother tonight. I hurt fall all LDS homosexuals tonight.
*That should say, "hurt for all LDS homosexuals..."
I'm not of the same faith as you all, but this is all very intriguing and interesting to me, as one of my adopted children is an LDS member and I try to learn what I can about her faith.
It's nice to see you all working together to get answers to your questions and doubts.
I wish all people of all faiths could be more like this!
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